Fear

Mar 10, 08:39 pm

For all your non-parents out there, or for those that have forgotten (I had) parenthood can be summarised in a single word. Fear. 

Not fear of your new situation or the waning of what few hours you already had to yourself. Not the fear of your new financial circumstances with another mouth to feed (though that has not been far from my mind). Rather, fear for the life of something that has come into your life so suddenly (Peta might beg to differ on that one) and has instantaneously taken over your entire world. Fear for their comfort, their health and their future. 

This is nothing new. I had forgotten about the constant monitoring of Gethin's breathing when he was wee. From the second he was born when he stopped breathing for a couple of minutes until when he moved to a bed from a cot almost a year ago I was constantly listening out for the sound of his breath and watching the movement of his chest to see if the lungs were operating as expected. Of course they always were.

Until two weeks ago that was all but a memory. But now all these fears have come back. And it's not just breathing. Fear of dropping Felix or that he some harm should befall him on my watch. I should clarify that I don't fear me harming him in any way. Just that am such a clumsy bugger.

Anyway, on a more serious note have managed to grab the flickr photos we have been uploading of wee Felix and Gethin which can now be perused on the site by clicking on the link which says Flickr snaps. Will dust off the snaps from the old blog when an opportunity presents itself.

Bye for now

Cole

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