For all your non-parents out there, or for those that have forgotten (I had) parenthood can be summarised in a single word. Fear.
Not fear of your new situation or the waning of what few hours you already had to yourself. Not the fear of your new financial circumstances with another mouth to feed (though that has not been far from my mind). Rather, fear for the life of something that has come into your life so suddenly (Peta might beg to differ on that one) and has instantaneously taken over your entire world. Fear for their comfort, their health and their future.
This is nothing new. I had forgotten about the constant monitoring of Gethin's breathing when he was wee. From the second he was born when he stopped breathing for a couple of minutes until when he moved to a bed from a cot almost a year ago I was constantly listening out for the sound of his breath and watching the movement of his chest to see if the lungs were operating as expected. Of course they always were.
Until two weeks ago that was all but a memory. But now all these fears have come back. And it's not just breathing. Fear of dropping Felix or that he some harm should befall him on my watch. I should clarify that I don't fear me harming him in any way. Just that am such a clumsy bugger.
Anyway, on a more serious note have managed to grab the flickr photos we have been uploading of wee Felix and Gethin which can now be perused on the site by clicking on the link which says Flickr snaps. Will dust off the snaps from the old blog when an opportunity presents itself.
Bye for now
Sorry things are looking a bit bare at the moment. Awaiting a trip from the web-decoratorsto spruce things up (that's not a euphimism) or, failing that, finding some time (know i left it around here somewhere) to either bring the old look over or tackling a new blog aesthetic for our lovely new addition.
Will at some point be sticking up here all the snaps from the old bairn blog but in the meantime for those craving some imagery of wee Felix we have been posting pics up on flickr at http://www.flickr.com/photos/cole007/sets/72157614464118270/ for your (and our) delectation.
Thank you everybody for all your kind words and wishes and presents and cards. We have been overwhelmed by everyone's generosity and thoughtfulness - especially for wee Gethin who is by no means feeling left out after an inundation of gifts!
Diolch yn fawr everybody!
Dear Felix
As I sit here looking at you, a mere 9 days old, and marvel at your simple beauty I wonder what kind of man you will become?
What you will do, what sights will you see and what things will you like?
Just remember son, as long as you learn to like yourself then the rest really doesn't matter.
Daddy
Well, Felix has been here for a week now, and it seems like he's never been anywhere else! He is a really lovely baby - very calm and alert in his waking moments, but also likes to sleep a lot, only waking twice in the night for some food. I'm finding it a lot easier this time round - it all started so wonderfully which helps.
Felix's birth was, for want of a better word, Wonderful! I've never trusted women who claim to use this word when describing giving birth, but now I must class myself as one of them! As soon as he was born (in the hospital's birthing pool - exactly as planned) after an 8 hour labour, the pain had gone - no discomfort, no horrific memories, just bliss! I was left in the pool to cuddle him for about 40 minutes and really it felt like 10 seconds because I felt so happy. Cole cut the cord (well done Dr. Squeemish) and had a cuddle before we were moved upstairs to the maternity ward. We were allowed home later that day, after Cole and big brother Gethin came in to get us.
Gethin has been really loving towards his little brother, and has just stopped referring to Felix has "baby Sister"! He has a lot of love to give and will hug and kiss Felix (sometimes a little too enthusiastically) and soothe him if he gets restless! It's very cute and reassuring for us to know he loves his little brother - he has even said that he is Happy cos Felix is here! Sweet!
So after a week of getting to know our newest Henley, I'm on my own with him at home just now - Mum was up for the last week but went home (amid a flurry of tears and hugs) last night. (must say a huge THANKYOU to Mum for being a top mummy - washing, drying, playing with G, hoovering, wiping, nappy changing, taxi-ing and all the rest, especially her unswerving support and comfort over the last week! see you in 5 weeks time!). Felix is happily slumbering away in the chair after some mammouth feeding. Just gotta wait for him to wake up now so I can play with him and look in his beautiful big blue eyes....
Thankyou everyone for your lovely cards and pressies - I can't wait for you all to meet him!
This here blog is in honour of the esteemed Gethin William Albert Henley Esq, 5162 days old, who was born on 3rd April 2006 at 18:04 weighing a healthy 9lb 11½oz.
Daddy Cole is enjoying a career as a web developer whilst mummy Peta is juggling working part-time with being an all-round top mum