bairn blog: a tale of three henleys

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10:45pm Sunday, 10th June 2007

good bleedin’ grief. How much work can a 14 month old be? cole and I were just about ready to give Gethin up for adoption today. He’s been an absolute nightmare – the day concluding in an hour phone call to my mum in dire need of support and reassurance. It sucks that both grandparents are so far away – at least if they were a bit nearer Cole and I might have a bit more time sans bairn/respite – we’ve only had one day without him since he was born, and the strain is beginning to show! at least we have a week away in the lakes surrounded by family coming up – any chance uma and oompa can take G for a few hours?? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

I think today has been the most testing we’ve had with Gethin – he is so unbelievable strong willed/bloody minded (wonder where he gets that from…) not to mention stubborn, independant and just that little bit advanced for his capabilities. he is truly testing us at the moment – plus he’s got several big teeth popping through and possibly another ear infection – there seems to be much cheek and ear rubbing going on. Added to that he doesn’t seem to want to be fed, and especially not from a spoon. He must do everything for himself, and insists on walking (aided) everywhere all the time – and he can seriously walk! We were out in the borders yesterday with trusty companion/baby G lover Denise and she was quite amazed by his energy – Chris and Archie also mentioned this about him today. G reminds me so much of Uncle Marty (who never kept still) and myself (who used to climb everywhere) and Cole as G seems to be really quite smart. Normal toys don’t seem to interest him, he will only play with toys for about 5 minutes before getting bored, and moves on to something else. At the park the other day he tried a little of most things but spent most time (about 15) minutes staring at the older boys playing with a water wheel thing, that involves a corkscrew and lots of water. I seriously think he gets frustrated when he knows how things should work but isn’t physically able to do it – something I noticed when he was really wee. And because he isn’t able to walk unaided yet (although he took 4 steps alone yesterday to give Denise a cuddle!!!) he has to rely on us to take him to where he wants to go, which is everywhere – to see the chickens (“cocka”), car (“ca”), cows (“moo”), horses (can’t find the phonetics to write that one down) and pigs (similar). So all in all the boy is proving to be a handful – he certainly ain’t a sit still baby. I guess only the fulness of time will prove whether he is actually intelligent or just prone to ADHD! God forbid it may be something worse like Autism, but the thought had occurred to us. People who say “well that’s babies for you” are really annoying – I bloody know what babies are like – I’ve been working exclusively with them for years now, and I’ve only met a few (literally) that are as hyper and into to things as Gethin is. I know how to discipline children (young and old) from working with them, and I understand a certain amount of psychology attached to babies’ behaviour, but I’m really struggling to deal with Gethin sometimes. As mum did say though, I don’t have the emotional attachment to these children as I do (and vice versa) with Gethin so that will distort things a bit. Cole and I wonder sometimes whether it’s something that we’ve done to make gethin such a handful, or something we’re not doing. But I guess not having time to ourselves (either as a couple or individuals) isn’t particularly healthy, but there isn’t much choice. Thanks to everyone who does offer to look after G, and one day we will take you up on it!, but we don’t want to take advantage, he is our son afterall!

So tomorrow is another day, and we’ll see where that takes us – but don’t think this is the last of this type of entry, I feel we may have many more trying days ahead of us…..I think I’ll start a poll on the bairn blog like the ones we did before G was born – it will be something like this:

ADHD? or clever? Please vote. (also words of wisdom from veteran parents and gethin’s friends wouldn’t go amiss)

bye for now all you lovely people!xxx


Kate said on Tuesday, 12th June 2007

You are the best parents in the world. Gethin is great and fantastic and wonderful in so many ways and that's down to you. I second Denise on all she said. NEVER doubt yourselves. Also, I didn't notice any Autistic or ADHD tendencies when I was visiting and I'm surrounded by them everyday!! Keep smiling Henleys 3 xx

Denise said on Monday, 11th June 2007

Gethin is the most intelligent, loving and happy wee boy I've had the pleasure of knowing and you are both fantastic parents SO don't ever doubt yourselves (even on the bad days!)cos you are both doing a grand job. PS Remember Auntie Denise is ALWAYS willing to give you a well deserved break!!!