bairn blog: a tale of three henleys

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10:16pm Thursday, 13th April 2006

third and last entry for the day. just got back from the hospital where gethin and peta are staying in overnight whilst they try to build up his fluids with formula. after a pregnancy in which we have been bombarded with images and pamphlets and advice emphasising the importance of breast-feeding i cannot remember anything that discussed the alternatives. i know how important a resource breast-feeding can be, particularly in the first few days, but such is the emphasis on breast that to have to resort to alternative foods almost makes you feel guilty. there has been little mention in the reams of information we have accumulated about what happens if you can’t breast-feed or cannot fully support the baby’s needs through breast-feeding alone. after today and some lengthy conversations with family i have been amazed at how commonly formula and other such supplements are used, but how little this is discussed.

anyway, all is going well at the mo with peta and gethin but should the poor wee chap be having difficulties feeding through the night then there is the possibility that he might be moved to special care to get some tlc. will keep y’all posted on any developments but all things going well hope to have P & G back home tomorrow.

it’s times like this that the parental emotions go into overdrive. guilt has been the main feeling which deep down you know is silly but there is a part of you that thinks “how did i not notice my son losing a kilogram in a week”, “have i neglected him”? the overwhelming nature of being a new parent means that so much of your time and mental effort is involved in taking on and taking in new things. at times it seems like so much of your attention is placed on providing a safe, warm, comfortable environment for your child that you forget to think about the child itself!

being home alone once more is also strange. it is a bit like the jetset lottery program. you get to sample another lifestyle for a week or so but then back to normality. there have been a number of times since gethin was born that i have felt someone will take him away or i will wake up and things will return to the way they were BG. thinking that i may in some way have neglected gethin’s needs have only exacerbated this feeling. not at all that i want things to go back to the way they were eleven days ago, or that i wish gethin away. if anything, today has made me realise that life with peta and gethin is normality, and already i cannot remember a time when gethin wasn’t in my life/our lives. here’s hoping then that we will not have to wait long for things to resume to the new, normal normality!


Kate said on Tuesday, 18th April 2006

Hi Peta
Just back from NY and only just heard! Fantatsic news for you and Cole and can't wait to meet the little (or should that be big!) fella!
Please don't worry about the top up with formula I too had to go throu this with Cameron, know what Cole means about all the benefit of breast, but sumtimes things get in the way- don't beat yourselves up! Not sure if this helps, but it makes me feel needed! Kate