bairn blog: a tale of three henleys

Back to Home

09:50am Wednesday, 19th April 2006

this is a first – peta is writing an entry on bairn blog. Apologies to everyone who may have wondered where I’ve been! I’ve not had the easiest couple of weeks – hence my withdrawal from polite society – Ryan and shelley/grandparents, you are polite society too!

The birth of lovely Gethin was, in my opinion, bloody awful. Something not to be repeated for a long time! I’m still recovering from all the “damage” and really can’t do very much without having to sit down. the whole day is mostly a blur – cole keeps reminding me of things that happened which then triggers memories, but I can hardly recall most of the day – i think that’s more to do with being out of it on morphine and sheer pain! my contractions were “off the scale”, and gas and air – what’s all that about? by the time you’ve got it working the contraction’s been and gone! still i was glad of something to bite – hard!

Now for a cheesy moment – I must give my thanks and love to coley – without whom (none of this would’ve bloody happened) – no, seriously – he was so cool and calm, and supportive and lovely, and has been ever since. Leiske I think we should have a “who’s husband is the best” competition! He has been a little whirlwind ever since Gethin’s arrival and won’t let me lift a finger – so much so I don’t have a clue how to work the steriliser or make up the formula! eeep! I couldn’t get through the day without you!

And when we thought we were home and dry – Gethin got sick. That first week and a half were so bizarre – trying to get used to a new (cryey) person in the family but also not getting enough sleep. I can’t believe how much weight he lost – and the fact that we didn’t notice. Cole has already described all the strange and horrible feelings we went through – and then to be told yesterday that it was the worst case the hospital staff had seen – is just gut wrenching. Looking back I knew there was something not right – Gethin completely changed, I felt I knew what kind of baby he was from the moment he was born, only to be totally another by the time he was a few days old. Call it mother’s instinct, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It still pains me to think of what might’ve happened, but at least he’s back on track now, chubbing out nicely!

Personally I’m still finding life a little beyond my control at the moment – I’ve seen the doctor and we’re taking a course of action to prevent me getting full blown PND. That’s something that I anticipated whilst I was pregnant – despite being completely happy and bouncey throughout most of it. I know I’m capable of being a happy mummy to Gethin, but it will just take a little time and help. There is light at the end…..

Well – I’ve been totally overwhelmed with the amount of support and kind presents/cards from everyone – thankyou all for being so amazing and lovely – and apologies from me for not thanking you all personally and sooner. Gethin loves all his cutey pie outfits and toys – and I’ve been enjoying the beautiful flowers and smellies that people have given! Thanks again – and I hope to catch up with people shortly!

To everyone at work – if it’s okay I might try and venture in next week – my mum is here so I’ll have a little help. I did want to come in earlier with Gethin but I really couldn’t manage it, physically and mentally. I know you all understand! please send my love to all the mums and little ones at B&T!

WOW – that was a mammouth entry – hope y’all managed to wade through it – ciao for now!


seelee said on Thursday, 20th April 2006

hey mama! i'm well proud of you! be good to yourself laydee. you ain't in Kansas anymore and Oz surely is unchartered territory, but you iz a fine woman with awesome strength - keep the faith kitten x x x x

brenda said on Wednesday, 19th April 2006

Hiya, really good to hear from you and well said elspeth. Don't blame yourself for not noticing gethin losin weight. the same happened to us and we never noticed either and said child is now a bouncing happy 21 year old!! we were so busy trying to be the perfect mum and dad! elspeth's right, the midwife should have been paying more attention. anyway, hope you are looking after yourself. we are are following gethins photos daily. He's so adorable so if you ever need a babysitter, I,m free! gethin is so lucky to have you as his mummy (yes, and cole as his daddy. Make sure you let me know when you are coming to visit work and i'll make sure i'm there.
all the mum's at B&T send there love and say hello. miss you. xx

Elspeth said on Wednesday, 19th April 2006

Wow, Peta, great to hear you! I have been thinking about you loads since I read this. Here is my rant of the things that've been going round in my head.

Why did your midwife not notice that Gethin was losing weight? Did you get home visits? Did she not weigh him? I am quite sure Scott got weighed daily for the first 11 days of his life.

I hope you're not blaming yourself for not noticing the weight loss. Frankly - what do first time parents know about babies?! The professionals are supposed to be there to help us!

Sorry to be ranty but I get upset when bad things happen to people I care about!!!

AND THEN for the hospital staff to say it was the worst thing they'd seen? What, did they consult each other? Hold a ballot, is Gethin Henley the worst case of deydration you've ever seen, yes or no? That sounds to me like blah-pish-blah, one person's opinion, thoughtless and only succeeding in making you feel even MORE insecure at a time when you're already head over heels!

AND if they've never seen anything like it before, perhaps its because most midwives usually weigh newborn babies regularly, and flag up problems like this??!!

Let me get 'em, put 'em up!! (Scrappy Dappy Doo, on the way!!)

You Will Be A Fantastic Mummy. You Already Are A Fantastic Mummy. Be kind to yourself. It's really difficult and it helps if you're good to yourself, regardless of who else is being good to you too.

Sorry to go on but I've been thinking about you so much!!!

Lots of love, Elspeth xxx

michelle said on Wednesday, 19th April 2006

Hi peta,
Great to hear from you. It sounds as if you're doing everything you can to recover. I remember having to sit on a cushion shaped like a polo mint after I had Joe! Very glamorous!
I hope that I can pop down and see you when you go to muirhouse next week. If you could post when you think you'll be going then I'll arrange it.
take good care of yourself and look forward to seeing you soon
lots of love