bairn blog: a tale of three henleys

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09:50am Wednesday, 19th April 2006

this is a first – peta is writing an entry on bairn blog. Apologies to everyone who may have wondered where I’ve been! I’ve not had the easiest couple of weeks – hence my withdrawal from polite society – Ryan and shelley/grandparents, you are polite society too!

The birth of lovely Gethin was, in my opinion, bloody awful. Something not to be repeated for a long time! I’m still recovering from all the “damage” and really can’t do very much without having to sit down. the whole day is mostly a blur – cole keeps reminding me of things that happened which then triggers memories, but I can hardly recall most of the day – i think that’s more to do with being out of it on morphine and sheer pain! my contractions were “off the scale”, and gas and air – what’s all that about? by the time you’ve got it working the contraction’s been and gone! still i was glad of something to bite – hard!

Now for a cheesy moment – I must give my thanks and love to coley – without whom (none of this would’ve bloody happened) – no, seriously – he was so cool and calm, and supportive and lovely, and has been ever since. Leiske I think we should have a “who’s husband is the best” competition! He has been a little whirlwind ever since Gethin’s arrival and won’t let me lift a finger – so much so I don’t have a clue how to work the steriliser or make up the formula! eeep! I couldn’t get through the day without you!

And when we thought we were home and dry – Gethin got sick. That first week and a half were so bizarre – trying to get used to a new (cryey) person in the family but also not getting enough sleep. I can’t believe how much weight he lost – and the fact that we didn’t notice. Cole has already described all the strange and horrible feelings we went through – and then to be told yesterday that it was the worst case the hospital staff had seen – is just gut wrenching. Looking back I knew there was something not right – Gethin completely changed, I felt I knew what kind of baby he was from the moment he was born, only to be totally another by the time he was a few days old. Call it mother’s instinct, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It still pains me to think of what might’ve happened, but at least he’s back on track now, chubbing out nicely!

Personally I’m still finding life a little beyond my control at the moment – I’ve seen the doctor and we’re taking a course of action to prevent me getting full blown PND. That’s something that I anticipated whilst I was pregnant – despite being completely happy and bouncey throughout most of it. I know I’m capable of being a happy mummy to Gethin, but it will just take a little time and help. There is light at the end…..

Well – I’ve been totally overwhelmed with the amount of support and kind presents/cards from everyone – thankyou all for being so amazing and lovely – and apologies from me for not thanking you all personally and sooner. Gethin loves all his cutey pie outfits and toys – and I’ve been enjoying the beautiful flowers and smellies that people have given! Thanks again – and I hope to catch up with people shortly!

To everyone at work – if it’s okay I might try and venture in next week – my mum is here so I’ll have a little help. I did want to come in earlier with Gethin but I really couldn’t manage it, physically and mentally. I know you all understand! please send my love to all the mums and little ones at B&T!

WOW – that was a mammouth entry – hope y’all managed to wade through it – ciao for now!